Today I want to talk about one of the things that bug me in BJJ. In this case, it is the guy who is so afraid to lose, that he spends all of his energy on holding on for dear life.

You know the type. The guy who hugs your neck with a death grip so you can’t posture up to begin passing his guard. Or the guy who clamps on to you inside your guard with no attempt at passing, just trying to not get swept or submitted.

Listen to a piece of advice from an old and broken, but experienced, BJJ practitioner. Unless you are a super athlete like Michael Jordan who is magic with any physical action you do, or someone who is able to train on the mat 8 hours a day, 7 days a week; what causes growth in your performance is LOSING! Nothing on Earth shows you the path to improvement or how to overcome your mistakes by actually experiencing failure. Every session on the mat should provide you with the clues you need to get better. You only get that by opening up and trying something. You might fail at it, but that is fine. Remember why you failed, and try to fix it.

There is no magic moment where a perfect move will suddenly appear, unless YOU have made it appear.

I have seen a lot of guys on the mat. The bottom line with those everyday guys (not the super athlete or the guy who is able to do nothing but train, but those of us who have to deal with the real world) who improve is that they ALL experienced failure, but kept plugging away and kept trying stuff that failed. That other guy who never opens himself up? Yeah, he gets to say “oh, so-and-so didn’t tap me” but he also never figures out why he is a blue belt after 4 years.

Don’t be that way. Ditch the ego, try to accomplish a positive goal on the mat, and have a light heart. BJJ is fun. Let it be so.