The truth is, as human beings we are going to fail more often than we succeed.

Now, that failure may be a relatively minor thing – you don’t put a shopping cart back, you leave the dishes in the sink an extra day, you fail at your diet on one particular day, you don’t do your scheduled exercise program. Or it may be a more moderate one – you are short with a loved one, you cut someone off in traffic, you go out in public without a mask. Or it may even be a big one – you mentally, emotionally, or physically hurt someone even unintentionally. Whatever the case may be, we are all going to fail at it at some point. It is the nature of humanity. We want to be the best, but life has an insidious method of getting in the way.

Now, saying this is not a get out of jail free card, as if we can just move on and go “oh well, stuff happens”. Not at all. We need to pay attention to these mistakes, learn from them, and use them as an object lesson to try to prevent a re-occurrence. This is the way that we truly get better.

However, it does mean that we should not beat ourselves up anymore than is helpful to that goal of getting better. Endlessly flagellating ourselves accomplishes nothing and just diminishes our soul. I was talking to a friend recently who in my opinion was beating himself up when there was no need. He was truly and honestly trying to be better, and was too focused on the occasional lapse. I was trying to encourage him, when I realized I was doing the exact same thing at the same exact time. I had a family tragedy happen in the past few weeks, and I was torturing myself with the things and actions I felt in hindsight I did wrong in the days prior to this tragedy, and all I was doing was hurting myself to no end.

My wife has been telling me quite frequently the past five weeks that I need to be kind to myself and as often is true, she is right. We all need to exercise kindness in today’s world – kindness and empathy certainly to others, but to ourselves as well. Don’t stop trying to be better, but don’t dwell on the failures. Use them as a platform to launch yourself to be more. I know I am going to try that advice myself.